💖 Father, My Deep Appreciation to You 💖
💖 When I Choose Forgiveness, I Choose Resilience 💖
Throughout much of my life, I was taught to be a “nice” person—to obey, to comply, to keep peace. From a young age, I learned that speaking my truth could bring pain. I remember being about seven years old when I dared to speak up to my father about something I felt was unfair. He was displeased and told me that I must obey because I was a girl, that I should not question or correct. When I disagreed, he became angry—and sometimes, I was slapped for being “disobedient.”
From that time on, I was labeled rebellious. To avoid conflict, confrontation, and the sting of punishment, I became a people pleaser. I complied, I silenced my voice, and I learned to shrink myself in exchange for safety.
As I grew into adulthood, however, something inside me began to rise again. I realized that silence was no longer an option. I chose to speak up once more. It wasn’t easy—and it wasn’t pretty—but it was necessary. My father’s anger still surfaced, but so did my strength.
Today, when I look back, I feel deep gratitude for my beloved father and all that he put me through. For though his methods were harsh, he unknowingly taught me to stand firm in my truth, to use my voice without fear, and to remain steady even in the face of opposition. Through the pain, I learned courage. Through the struggle, I discovered resilience.
Now, when life challenges me, I no longer shrink or surrender my integrity. I remember the lessons hidden within those difficult moments. I understand that every time I react with fear, I drain my own energy—so I choose instead to respond with calm strength.
Yes, Father, I feel you smiling from heaven. I sense your quiet pride as I continue to stand strong. I imagine your whisper reaching my soul:
“I am proud of you—for standing firm in who you are.”
Through this journey, I have grown in consciousness and peace. I have forgiven the past and released the old story that no longer serves my soul’s evolution.
I am not the “traditional” Chinese woman you once expected me to be. I am a joyful, compassionate, and unapologetically free spirit. I embrace my rebellious heart—it is the part of me that loves truth more than approval.
I have learned to transform fear into fuel, to channel it into resilience and willpower. Life is an experience—a great cosmic play—and I choose to play it fully, to accept whatever unfolds as part of my highest good.
💖 Thank you, my beloved father, for the lessons hidden in pain, and for helping me become the woman I am today. 💖
💖 Here is my learning journey of Forgiveness 💖
1. Begin with Honest Acknowledgment
You cannot forgive what you do not first allow yourself to feel.
Take time to name your hurt without judgment — disappointment, betrayal, anger, or sadness.
Write it down, speak it aloud, or sit with it quietly.
Forgiveness begins not with forgetting, but with witnessing your own pain fully.
💠 “I see the wound, and I honor what it has taught me.”
2. Reclaim the Narrative
Ask yourself:
What meaning have I been giving to this experience?
What identity did I adopt because of it — victim, rescuer, rebel, survivor?
Then gently reframe: “This experience shaped me, but it does not define me.”
Forgiveness begins when you reclaim authorship of your story.
3. Separate the Person from the Pain
Every act of harm comes from unresolved pain.
When you can look beyond the behavior and see the wounded child within the other, compassion arises naturally.
You are not excusing the act — you are understanding its roots.
This understanding sets you free.
🌿 “What hurt me came from their unhealed fear — not my unworthiness.”
4. Release the Debt
True forgiveness means letting go of the inner demand that the past should have been different.
Say silently:
“I release you from owing me an apology, a correction, or redemption.”
You do this not to condone, but to stop binding your energy to the wound.
This is the act of spiritual emancipation.
5. Choose Compassion for Yourself
Unconditional love starts with you.
Offer yourself the tenderness you wished another had shown you.
Place your hand on your heart, breathe slowly, and whisper:
“I forgive myself for carrying this weight for so long.”
Every act of self-compassion ripples outward to others.
6. Practice Loving Detachment
Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean accepting abuse or remaining in unhealthy situations.
It means you can hold love without needing control or outcome.
Set boundaries from peace, not resentment.
Unconditional love honors both your truth and the freedom of others.
7. Transmute Pain into Service
The final step of forgiveness is alchemy — transforming your suffering into wisdom that uplifts others.
Share your story, comfort someone still in their storm, create art, pray, plant something.
Love expands when it flows outward.
💖 “May my healing serve the healing of all.” 💖
🌎🌹💖🕊☀️ My father took the above photo for me when we were traveling in the Forbidden City, China, in 2000, and I knew in his eyes, I was always a little princess. 🌎🌹💖🕊☀️