May this story inspire you to honor every moment that you have with your awesome father, as well as treasure your loving relationship with your beautiful family.
“December 2010, I received news from China; that my father had a stroke, and he was taken to hospital in intense care and unconscious.
I was shocked and, immediately I was on my knees, praying to God and requesting to save my father. Then, I was begging God every day to alter the situation.
Yet, a few weeks later, still, nothing changed…
One day, I said this to the Universe, “I just started to rebuild my relationship with my father during the last year, since we were in an unfriendly relationship and nonspeaking terms for 10 some years. Now, I promised him that I would dedicate my Chinese book to him as my gratitude for preparing me to be who I am today. He has not seen me complete my book yet, he cannot die. God, please grant my wish, I believe you can save my father. I am willing to become a nun in exchange for a few more months of his life.”
You see, my ego was trading with God, the situation did not work in my favor, or God had a better plan for my life, I didn’t know much about how the Creation worked back then …
Also, I was in such denial and did not want to go back to China to see my father, I wished wishing as long as I did not return to China, he would not go anywhere. Yet, 3 weeks later, while I was on the airplane to travel back to my hometown, my father shifted to the other side …
After my father passed away, I was angry at God, I was outrageous to the unfair Universe, I stopped praying, I stopped meditating, I stopped writing, and I was seeking a temple to go on for hiding.
After a year-long of frustration and depression, a friend took me to see a spiritual teacher, he reminded me of all the life lessons I had learned and seemed to forget. I realized that everything in life happens for a reason and a lesson, as I looked deeper inwardly; I discovered that I was holding my anger from my childhood.
Am I taking responsibility for my life, or am I blaming others or the situation?
Am I holding on to the sorrow, or am willing to forgive and let go of everything?
Maybe, God saw my father in pain and unconscious, He helped him to be free of the suffering. Why could I not see this perspective and be grateful for God in granting my father’s wish? I failed to see if I kept being angry, not only did I create pain for myself, I also wouldn’t be a happy person, I wouldn’t be fun to be around, and I would lose an awesome opportunity to connect with another amazing human being.
Ultimately, I learned that when I am holding onto anger and any negative emotion, is like I was holding onto a hot charcoal in my hand, with the desire to throw it at someone else; but I am the one who gets burned first. After this realization, I chose to let go of my rage, I chose to forgive myself and I chose to have a positive attitude to continue on my inner journey.
Then a month later, my father appeared in my dream, and he expressed, “Don’t be angry at God. Since I cannot help you in my lifetime, I chose to go on to the other side, now I can help you to accomplish your mission in your lifetime.”
I woke up in amazement and contentedness, I cannot begin to describe to you the profoundness and the powerfulness that I had experienced from that message, equally, this monumental event forever shifted my consciousness about trusting the Universe – everything is in Divine order.
Yes, my greatest pain is also my greatest gift. Now, I learned my lesson.
My beloved father, wherever you are, I know you are with me in spirit. I Love You, Thanks for being my wonderful father, as well as blessing me with the energy to propel me to move forward.
Lovely article about forgiveness.