☯️ neutrality as liberation ☯️
As I continue my Travelling Inwards, I find myself discovering layers of my inner world that were hidden from my conscious awareness.
The deeper I look, the more I realize that one of the most liberating lessons of my journey is this:
🪷 what happened is not the same as what i made it meant. 🪷
This simple realization has become a doorway.
- A doorway into healing.
- A doorway into freedom.
- A doorway back to the little child within me.
🤝 the meaning we unconsciously create 🤝
Throughout life, we experience countless events.
- A joyful moment.
- A beautiful relationship.
- An unexpected illness.
- A difficult encounter.
- An obstruction on our path.
- A mistake.
- A disappointment.
- A triumph.
- A painful childhood experience.
The event itself is one thing. But almost immediately, the mind begins to interpret it. It asks:
🙏 What does this mean?
🙏 Why did this happen?
🙏 What does this say about me?
And sometimes, without realizing it, we turn an experience into a belief.
Then the belief becomes a story. The story becomes an identity. And eventually, the identity begins to shape our life.
🫀 the story i created at seven 🫀
I can see this clearly now when I look back at my childhood. After the painful experience with my father that I had previously shared, I unconsciously created a meaning around what had happened.
Because I felt that my father’s affection had changed, my seven-year-old mind extended that interpretation to the rest of my family. Somewhere inside me, I began to believe:
“If my father doesn’t love me, perhaps my mother doesn’t love me either.”
And perhaps my brother doesn’t love me either. But that wasn’t a fact. It was an interpretation. It was a conclusion created by a frightened little mind trying to understand an experience it did not have the emotional maturity to comprehend.
Yet my “genius brain” believed the story. And because I believed it, I behaved from it. I carried it. I related to my family through it.
And without consciously intending to, I allowed an interpretation born from one painful childhood experience to influence relationships that were much larger and more complex than that single event. Now I can see something I couldn’t see then:
✨ the event was real, but the meaning I attached to it was not necessarily the truth. ✨
🧠 the mind is a meaning-making machine 🧠
Perhaps this is one of the most fascinating things about being human. The mind doesn’t simply experience life. It interprets life. It is constantly trying to make meaning.
- Sometimes this is useful.
- Sometimes it protects us.
- Sometimes it helps us learn.
But sometimes, especially when we are young, frightened, or wounded, the mind creates meanings that are incomplete.
👉 A child may experience: “my father hurt me.”
👉 And unconsciously conclude: “i am not lovable.”
👉 An adult may experience: “someone rejected me.”
👉 And conclude: “i will always be rejected.”
👉 Someone makes a mistake and concludes: “i am a failure.”
👉 Someone experiences betrayal and concludes: “people cannot be trusted.”
The event is one thing. The meaning is another. And the identity we build from that meaning is something else again. This is why awareness matters.
🫶 When we become aware of the meaning-making process, we can begin to examine the meanings we have been living by. 🫶
🧘♂️ sitting with the seven-year-old 🧘♂️
This morning, during meditation, I invited the seven-year-old version of myself to sit beside me.
- I imagined looking into her frightened eyes.
- I didn’t want to erase what happened.
- I didn’t want to tell her that her pain wasn’t real.
- I wanted to meet her exactly where she was.
So I said: “I am sorry for what happened.” “I see your pain.” “I acknowledge what you experienced.” Then I told her:
✌️ “But sweetheart, this is not the end of your story.”
✌️ “You are worthy.”
✌️ “You are strong.”
✌️ “You are still capable of love.”
✌️ “You are allowed to grow beyond this moment.”
And then something deeper came through me. I began to see my father not only through the eyes of the wounded child, but also through the eyes of an adult who could recognize complexity.
My father had inherited beliefs from his own generation. He may have believed that physical punishment was discipline. He may have believed that harshness was a way of teaching a child to become stronger or more responsible.
- That does not make the violence right.
- It does not erase the child’s pain.
- And it does not mean we should excuse harmful behavior.
But I can begin to understand without remaining imprisoned by resentment.
👉 Understanding is not approval.
👉 Forgiveness is not permission.
👉 Compassion does not require us to deny what happened.
For me, forgiveness means: 🦋 I refuse to let this pain remain the author of my future. 🦋
🤝 changing the meaning, not changing history 🤝
🧘♂️ As I sat with my younger self, I began to see how many possibilities could have emerged from a different interpretation.
🧘♂️ If I had been able to understand my father’s behavior differently, perhaps I could have developed a more compassionate relationship with him sooner.
🧘♂️ If I had interpreted my mother’s and brother’s reactions differently, perhaps I could have experienced greater closeness with them.
🧘♂️ If I had understood my childhood differently, perhaps I would have created a different identity.
🧘♂️ If I had consciously transformed suffering into purpose, perhaps I would have walked a different path.
🧘♂️ If I had given my mistakes a different meaning, perhaps I would have experienced my life with greater freedom and self-compassion.
But I also know: there are no “what ifs.”
The past cannot be edited. And perhaps that is not the work. The work is to stop using the past to imprison the present.
🧠 i am not my story 🧠
Today, I no longer want to live from the identity of the victim.
- I am not my sad story.
- I am not my childhood wound.
- I am not my mistakes.
- I am not my misfortune.
- I am not the interpretation I created when I was seven years old.
- I am the awareness that can now see that interpretation.
And when I can see it, I can choose differently. This does not mean denying personal responsibility. Quite the opposite. It means reclaiming it.
✌️ Instead of asking: “Who ruined my life?”
✌️ I can ask: “What am I choosing to create with the life I have now?”
✌️ Instead of: “Why did this happen to me?”
✌️ I can ask: “What can I learn, heal, and become through this experience?”
✌️ Instead of: “What is wrong with me?”
✌️ I can ask: “What part of me is asking to be understood?”
These questions move me from victimhood toward agency.
🫶 the spiritual power of neutrality 🫶
This is where neutrality becomes liberation. Neutrality does not mean that everything is acceptable.
👉 It does not mean that we should tolerate abuse, injustice, manipulation, or harmful relationships.
👉 It means that we create enough inner space to see clearly before deciding what something means.
We can say: “This happened.” And pause. Before adding:
- “Therefore, I am…”
- “Therefore, everyone is…”
- “Therefore, life is…”
- “Therefore, my future will be…”
That pause is sacred.
👉 It is where unconscious programming begins to lose its power.
👉 It is where awareness enters. And awareness gives us choice.
🧠 a spiritual practice for neutralizing mental programming 🧠
I have found a simple process useful in my inward journey. I call it:
🤝 the neutral meaning practice 🤝
1. pause
When something triggers you, don’t immediately react. Stop. Breathe slowly. Feel your feet on the ground. Create a little space between the event and your response.
2. separate the event from the story
Ask: “What actually happened?” Describe only what could be observed by a neutral witness.
Then ask: “What story did my mind create about what happened?” These are often very different things.
3. identify the meaning
Ask: “What did I decide this means about me?” Maybe:
- I am not worthy.
- I am unsafe.
- I am unwanted.
- I am a failure.
- I cannot trust anyone.
Bring the belief into awareness. You cannot consciously release what you cannot see.
4. meet the inner child
Imagine the younger version of yourself who first learned this belief.
Don’t correct her. Don’t lecture her. Don’t rush her.
Sit beside her. Look at her. Listen. Say:
- “I see you.”
- “I believe that this hurt.”
- “You don’t have to carry this alone anymore.”
5. offer a wider meaning
Now ask: “Is there another interpretation that is more compassionate, balanced, and supportive of the person I am becoming?”
- Not a fake positive story.
- Not spiritual bypassing.
A meaning that holds both truth and possibility. For example:
👉 “Someone hurt me, but that does not mean I am unlovable.”
👉 “I made a mistake, but I am capable of learning.”
👉 “Someone rejected me, but rejection does not define my worth.”
👉 “My childhood shaped me, but it does not have to imprison me.”
6. release the old identity
Place your hand over your heart. Take a slow breath. And say:
- “I honor the experience.
- I released the identity.
- I keep the wisdom.
- I release the weight.”
Let the body participate in the release. Breathe out slowly. Imagine the old story becoming lighter.
7. choose
Finally ask: “Who do I choose to be now?” This is where healing becomes creation.
- You are no longer simply responding to the past.
- You are consciously participating in your future.
✌️ forgiveness as freedom✌️
For me, forgiveness has become much deeper than saying: “What happened was okay.” It wasn’t necessarily okay.
Forgiveness means: “I no longer need to carry this pain in order to prove that it happened.” It means:
- “I can remember without reliving.”
- “I can understand without excusing.”
- “I can love without abandoning my boundaries.”
- “I can honor the child without keeping her trapped in the childhood story.”
And perhaps most importantly: “I can release my father from the role he has continued to occupy inside my mind.” That is freedom.
🧠 the meaning becomes the doorway 🧠
Today, I see that life is not only made of events. Life is also made of the meanings we give those events.
🙏 A mistake can become shame. Or it can become wisdom.
🙏 A rejection can become an identity. Or it can become redirection.
🙏 A difficult childhood can become a lifelong wound. Or, with awareness and appropriate support, it can become the beginning of a profound journey of self-understanding and compassion.
🙏 A painful experience can become a prison. Or it can become a doorway.
🦋 The event may not change. But my relationship with the event can change. 🦋
🦋 And when that relationship changes, I change. 🦋
- My character changes.
- My beliefs change.
- My emotional patterns change.
- My relationships can change.
- My possibilities change.
- My life begins to feel different.
🧠 the inner child becomes free 🧠
So today, I invite you to look gently at your own inner-child experiences. Not to blame. Not to judge. Not to rewrite history.
But to become aware. Look at the story. Notice the interpretation. Question the assumption. Separate the event from the meaning. Meet the child who created the belief. Love that child unconditionally.
✨ Then ask: “Is this still the meaning I choose to live by?” ✨
- Perhaps you are ready to rename the story.
- Perhaps you are ready to release an identity.
- Perhaps you are ready to stop carrying something that happened many years ago.
- Perhaps you are ready to transform suffering into purpose.
- Perhaps you are ready to give yourself permission to become someone beyond your history.
- And perhaps this is the deepest gift of awareness:
🦋 I cannot change what happened. But I can change what I continue to make it mean. 🦋
✌️ And when I change the meaning, I change my relationship with the past.
✌️ When I change my relationship with the past, I change the present.
✌️ And when the present changes, the inner child begins to breathe again.
So dare to look inward.
- Dare to meet the child.
- Dare to question programming.
- Dare to remain neutral.
- Dare to choose a new meaning.
- Dare to release the story.
Because sometimes, the child never asks us to change the past.
🫶 She was simply waiting for us to see her differently. 🫶
And perhaps that is how: