On the last 10 days Vipassana meditation course, and 2 days on the road, I experienced extreme pain in the stomach area. I was sitting on the meditation cushion for hours with painful sensations, and patiently observe my emotions and trying not to habitually react, or curse the pain, or demand Buddha for help. However, on the third day, when I finished my hour of meditation and walked out of the meditation room, the pain was gone.
I thought that was an extraordinary experience.
On Saturday, I was continuing a 7-hour-long Vipassana meditation course with 100 meditators. After 3 hours of crossing leg sitting, I felt my right leg experiencing thousands of needle pinches, the pain was so severe that I could not move an inch, and then the painful tears were flowing out of my eyes uncontrollably…
My first habitual reaction was anger at Buddha for allowing the suffering to happen to this little body. As I experienced more stronger sensation appeared in my leg, I realized my ego was coming out to play the blame game. Hence, I consciously shifted my attitude and stopped participating in the ego game. Since I inner stood that nothing outside of me, happiness or suffering it’s all my own creation.
However, the intensified pain was dominating my mind and my body.
I was questioning what mistakes that I made to transpire this challenging situation …
I was doubting the energy may not support my inner work at this time …
I was pondering to stop the meditation course and lay down to rest …
I was debating to call a friend and to cry my heart out …
Yes, I was fully aware that the habitual random-thinking mind took me thousands of miles away from the meditation course.
I was fully aware that I witnessed my own unsupportive emotions and unproductive thoughts play out vividly.
Yet, I was doing my best to remain on the meditation cushion calmly and do nothing. Let it be! Let nature take its course! Let the Dhamma do the purifying work!
Certainly, I didn’t give up, I didn’t let the ego win, I tolerantly surrendered and observed, as well as persistently sat on the meditation cushion and swallowed my tears and my pains. also, constantly witness this intense sensation and unique discomfort in my leg…
But, hour after hour, Buddha did not show up to save me from this insanity situation …
Even though I didn’t experience surprise or miracle, I still sat in silence, learning to love what it is, not to resist the unbearable soreness, just patiently witness my agitation and frustration…
At the end of 7 hours meditation course, I was still enduring indescribable pain and had a difficult time moving my leg.
Well, I learned to walk very slowly to my dormitory. After an hour of resting and being friends with the pain, I decided to sit back on the cushion and practice silent meditation again. Yet, no craving, no expectation, or protest to Buddha a need to save me. For hours, I just sat there to observe this extraordinary sensation moving around my body, not allowing the habitual reactive mind to control my emotions. As well as learning to accept the discomfort, embrace the difficulties, and love every phenomenon that transpired.
To my surprise, after 10 hours of meditation, I sensed my higher self knocking my head:
“What You want to teach the most then you need to learn the most.”
Oh, I aspire to be a healer and to assist humanity in elevating consciousness. Yet I need to first learn to unattached the suffering, heal my body, and at the same time not judge why this misfortune appears in my life, treat what happened with an equanimity mind, also believe that pure love can dissolve all pain …
Incredibly, as I expand my awareness, I completely inner-stand the true meaning of this profound inspiration, and reconciliation with my experience, embracing my challenging situation, and then the pain vanishes into thin air.
My wise friends, I hope you can gain some insights from this lesson, and have a different attitude toward any discomfort or challenging situations – learn to completely accept, surrender, and trust the Universe’s bigger plan!
ღ With infinite love and profound gratitude, I deeply appreciate your incredible support ღ
💜 I cordially invite you to continue this unforgettable spiritual journey with me 💜
ღ Presented to you ❣ Cultivate an Equanimous Mind ❣ Resource ღ